Here in Florianopolis, we recently had a week of whirlwind communication in the world of local politics.  We met with the President of the Municipal Chamber, to whom we presented the organization and he pledged his support.   We were then invited to present to the local politicians at a live, televised Open Tribunal.  Dr. Marisa, Recontar´s co-founder and I prepared together and went to the presentation.  We agreed that it would be better for her to present in order to emphasize that this is a local initiative with strong medical backing.  

There were about 10 local politicians present, and thirty or so onlookers and a big TV camera filming the session.

The presentation went extremely well with Marisa presenting with all of her Italian-Brazilian passion and gusto.  The politicians pumped our hands and pledged support for the cause.  One said that he would sign up as a sponsor of one of the children. Another said that we had found the true source of happiness: helping others.     

Marisa and I left the building in a whirl of elation after agreeing a time for the TV cameras to come and film the work with the families.  Here we were, eight months after setting up the charity, sensing that we, along with many others, had helped to make those in power more aware of the needs of those who are powerless.   

Then something strange happened.

First for some necessary background … in my very first blog, I talked about the motivations that brought me, as an Irish woman, to work in Latin America. 

There are two elements of this motivation that I didn´t mention.

One is a semi-mystical motivation, that feels often more subconscious than conscious. 

When I was eight years old, I had a dream.  I had heard that a small number of rich people had all the wealth in Latin America, while the rest were poor.  In this dream, I stood on a podium in Latin America and I told the rich to give to the poor.   Everyone clapped and the rich handed over their riches to the poor. 

World saved.  Me the saviour.  Dream complete.

Over the last 11 years, since first going to volunteer at an orthopedic clinic in Peru, I have worked through some of this ego-driven mania of saving the world, significantly lowered my ambitions and allowed compassion be a stronger driver .. though my ego still raises its head on regular occasion.

The second forgotten element of my motivation was a clearly spiritual one.  As a teenager and into early adulthood, I used to say the following words in my prayers and randomly in moments of indecision and uncertainty … ´Lord, make me a hand-maiden of your work.´  I don´t know where these words came from, but they comforted me and I repeated them often to provide a sense of purpose in moments of despair.

And then as I grew older and perhaps through my time at McKinsey, international development became a profession: a results-driven pursuit rather than an idealistic, romanticized vocation.   And with that, some of the passion and the spirituality were inevitably sucked out, while more contextual understanding, more strategy and more focus on efficiency filled the void.

Back to the night of the presentation to local politicians:  As we left the presentation, Marisa and I hugged and separated paths.  As I walked downtown towards my car, I was swept by a wave of emotion as my eight-year-old dream flashed vividly before me.  I felt an ebb of recognition of the similarities between the dream and the presentation to the local politicians.

And then I sensed the honey-flow of self-realization.   

Just at that moment, I walked past an evangelical church with the double doors wide open to the street and music blaring out.   The lyrics of the music were in huge black letters on a big white screen and the congregation sang in unison.  My eyes were drawn automatically to the screen and I read  the words ´usa-me Senhor, usa-me´ ( ´use me Lord, use me´).  These words brought my teenage mantra immediately and forcefully to mind.   

This stopped me in my stride and I laughed. 

I looked up, looked behind, looked around as if to spot the Candid Camera. 

And somehow, somewhere I had the undeniable sense that a circle was closing.